Ten years of perspective
It’s story time. One of my favorite features on Instagram is the memories. One year ago today, 5 years ago today... I start to feel quite sage when social media starts showing me memories from 10 years prior. (Or a little silly, why did I post a grainy photo of a brown blob of a #cookie on a china plate #healthytreat?)
When this photo of two bursting suitcases and a few cardboard boxes showed up on my feed, the poignant feelings from that moment in my life came with it. Uncertainty, excitement and the blind optimism of my 20-year-old self came rushing back. I was unaware of everything I didn’t know, and healthily uninhibited by expectation.
I was 20 years old, moving out of a summer sublet off the Church Avenue BQ stop. I’d been living with a handful of Italian girls, one of which had a soft spot for the mice that frequented our apartment. Enough was enough of that situation, and I was moving to Manhattan.
I’d moved to the city on a whim. After graduating a year early from high school, I’d spent some time learning Spanish while living in Mexico and Spain. New York City was my next spontaneous — albeit domestic — venture.
A gig as live-in personal assistant on the Upper East Side of Manhattan was my first, chaotic experience working in New York. I was thankful it brought me to the city, but was happy to move on. Next was an internship at a tech startup quickly progressed into a full-time offer. I loved being immersed in the non-stop tech scene, and was thriving in the energy of New York. I’d been bopping around sublets since moving to the city, and was ecstatic to find an ad for a downtown apartment I could afford on my startup salary.
It was a walk-up building on the intersection of Ludlow and Delancey, the absolute heartbeat of the Lower East Side. I eagerly signed the most expensive lease I’d held to-date, and carted my few boxes of belongings up to the fifth floor. Adjacent to my apartment was a dim gallery called Con Artist, and the door of my building was delicately hung on fragile hinges. Most nights there’d be a small crowd of creatives paused in my doorway– chatting and smoking — gazing at the latest murals that would spring up across the street next to the 99-cent store. I was in love, and beyond excited to be living, breathing and surrounded by the energy of Manhattan.
Little did I know while making the move, but I was about to lose my job. I learned more about business than I ever knew even existed at that startup, but when I was laid off without a college degree and little experience in any one specific field, I had a moment of intimidation. I distinctly remember my exit conversation with the founder. It was kind and laced with the type of advice that is hard (but oh-so-necessary) to hear.
I began to collect unemployment — a humbling experience— while I figured out what to do next. As the initial shock wore off, and the optimism and determination went to work. I started working side jobs in graphic design and marketing, volunteering at a social innovation center for the networking and free co-working space, applying to every job I had even a bit of interest in and having coffee chats with people in careers I was interested in.
Perhaps my more-is-more strategy and bias toward action wasn’t the ideal approach, but it did eventually lead me to a career in experience design that was — and continues to be — a perfect fit for my love and natural inclination towards creative problem solving.
It’s easy to look back with gratitude and appreciation for that unexpected change, now seeing so clearly how all the pieces fit together for good. The loss of my job sparked a quick pivot into design, which I likely wouldn’t have found had I stayed in with the startup.
Setbacks only set you back if you let them. When you choose to see life with the perspective of growth, it always turns out better than expected. If I’ve learned anything in the past 10 years, it is the importance of embracing resilience and optimism.
I’m practicing channeling that intuitive, fluid, younger self. Embracing unknowns with an open arms and a positive mindset. I’m still working on finding that sweet spot between information overload and trusting my gut feelings. Do the work, research, due diligence — those aren’t to be discarded for feelings. But I remind myself to check in with my intuition, and trust it.
