He was actually really nice

It was textbook flirting during summer in New York City. We were at a fundraiser at a bar in Chelsea, and you were tall and blonde, a head above the after-work crowd of young professionals. I thought I would be making a risky first move that evening, but quickly learned my attraction wasn’t one-sided.

The best place to order a drink at the bar just happened to be right next to where you were standing. You didn’t miss a beat when I walked up, and immediately started a conversation and offered me a glass of rosé. After monopolizing each other most of the evening, we decided it was best to continue the conversation and exchanged numbers.

The following weekend I dashed off early from a party with some friends to meet you, excitedly telling them about my new date.

“He actually seems really nice — and is taller than me — and travels — and has fun friends — and we didn’t even meet on an app!”

That first date was charming. We chatted over wine at a lounge on Ludlow Street, and you walked me home for a goodnight kiss. Our second date almost didn’t happen. A broken phone and a missed text message caused us both to think the other ghosted, but when you followed up a couple days later we laughed off the miscommunication and quickly made plans to see each other again.

Over the summer we continued to see each other.

We went to movies in the park, staying out late along the Hudson River long after everyone left. I made you go rock climbing under the Brooklyn Bridge until you got blisters and then we went for boozy brunch. After work I did the Whole Foods run, you cooked a favorite recipe from your grandmother’s cookbook for us. On your rooftop, we’d look out over the glow of the Chrysler Building and discuss our mutual delight for travel, different views on faith, and love for our families. Our differences were not apparent at first, we were brought together by a common spirit.

After a couple months our opposing viewpoints were enough for us to decide to stop seeing each other. I’ve never liked how dating relationships are often described in terms of success or failure. Thanks for starting and ending that one with me.



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